


What Could be Left

by RR4901



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, I'm Sorry, M/M, useless...
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:48:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22242112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RR4901/pseuds/RR4901
Summary: This is my imagining of what could be left, after I come back to somewhere I've missed...for so long.
Comments: 17
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my imagining of what could be left, after I come back to somewhere I've missed...for so long.

_ I'm sorry to say that the smiles that I give you  _

_ One day will be tears in your eyes _

_ I'm sorry to give you these memories _

_ 'Cause memories like this will one day make you cry _

_ But I'ma stick around _

_ I promise you that I will stick around  _

_ for now _

~Lukas Graham, Stick Around...The one song I wish I could’ve given him

  
  


JR teleported into the scene, stumbling as he fell on the ground. The wolf knocked his hoodie up and began to look around, trying to make sense of where he was. He was in an alleyway off some major street.  _ Great _ , he thought,  _ even more reason to seem creepy _ . He dusted himself off and came out of the alley, looking at the street before him.

He semi recognized the street he was on. It was Michigan Avenue in Chicago. He was by Water Tower Place, got a good restaurant there.  _ Ok, what to do now, _ he thought to himself.  _ Find people I know. Now where is that?  _ JR didn’t know where else to go, being as is he hasn’t been here for months, he was afraid that it’ll just be different. JR was afraid that maybe people will be different, and most importantly he will be different. 

_ I shouldn’t worry about that, _ JR thought to himself, walking down the street with his tail moving from side to side in worry. T _ hings...hopefully are the same. I won’t know until I see them. _ JR smiled and ran down the street, hailing a cab. 

Once he got one, he asked to go to O’Hare Airport, going to visit his ex...someone he didn’t want to break up with someone he had to.  _ Oh shit... _ JR groaned, slowly as his eyes slowly become half lidded and JR falls down into the other seat, passing out. 

\------

JR was pulled back to the moment he left, about twelve months ago, when he was saying good-bye to...him. JR nervously knocked on his door, slowly trying to figure out what he wanted to say to him. Before he gathered his thoughts, his boyfriend came to the door, smiling so beautifully. His name was Asher, the most handsome coyote around. He loved everything about him, even his metal arm. It just made him more unique and...perfect 

“Jo,” he smiled, pulling the wolf into a tight hug. 

“Hey,” JR smiled, pulling him into a hug. “Can we talk? Shit, that the one thing I didn’t want to say.” 

His frown shrank, becoming replaced by a serious helpful look. “Yeah come on in babe, we can talk.” He led the wolf into his apartment, and sat down, gesturing for the other to sit by him. 

JR sat by him and just waited, wanting to cuddle, to get close to his boyfriend while he still could.  _ Maybe, _ he thought,  _ this’ll all work out...eventually. _

“Hey,” he said, raising up his paw to the side of JR’s muzzle, “Talk to me babe.” 

JR took a shaky breath and began, “I have to leave. I need to go undercover, and sadly that’s all I can say. I don’t want to leave, but I’m being forced into it. I’m sorry.” 

He stayed quiet, and pulled JR into a tight hug. “Stay safe babe,” he whispered into his ear. 

“I have to…” JR struggled to get out, tears beginning to fall from his eyes. “I have to…”

His face slackened into a worry. “Jo…”

JR pulled him into a hug and said, “I’m sorry Asher, I have to break up with you. They want me to.”

Asher pulled him into a tighter hug, hiding his own tears. “I don’t understand.”

“I don’t either. I don’t want to break up with you but...they are forcing me to.”

Asher pulled off of him and shook his head, wiping tears from his eyes. “Okay.”

JR cried more, feeling his heart break inside. He had worked so hard to get Asher and he loved him so much. He didn’t want to give him up, and yet, he hoped maybe one day they could get back together. “Asher…” he struggled to get his idea out, but instead he got something else out. “If you want to move on and date someone else, I’ll be ok with that. And maybe, when I come back, maybe we can get back together.”

Asher nodded his head, his eyes not meeting JR’s, and said “yeah. I’ll try.”

JR found it hard to smile, yet he did, and he lifted his paw up to Asher and looked into his eyes. “I love you cowboy.” 

Asher smiled in return and said “I love you too, cuddlebear.” 

JR gave one more hug and stood up. He headed for the door but turned around last minute and looked and his now ex-boyfriend. “Thank you Asher. I hope we can get back together, and I’m sorry.” He walked out of the room, hearing Asher’s heart break alongside his own. 

——

“Hey bud!” The taxi driver yelled. 

JR woke up with a start very teary eyed and with a fresh broken heart. He wiped the tears from his eyes and said, “yes?” 

“O’Hare airport.”

“Oh thanks,” JR smiled and paid the man. 

Before JR left the car, the driver stopped him and said, “hey, I have to ask but you talk in your sleep but, who is Asher?”

JR took in a deep breath and said “someone I love, and someone I hope to come back to. But I think he moved on.” JR got out of the care but stopped, and went back to the driver and said “But I still believe.” and left him, grinning and ready to see Asher. 

To be continued 


	2. Chapter 2

_ I love you baby, And if it's quite all right _

_ I need you baby, To warm the lonely nights _

_ I love you baby, Trust in me when I say _

_ Oh pretty baby, Don't bring me down I pray _

_ Oh pretty baby, Now that I've found you stay _

_ And let me love you, baby, Let me love you _

-Can’t Take My Eyes off You, Bob Crewe and Robert Gaudio. Performed by Under the Streetlamp

  
  


JR went onto the plane, holding only his backpack and his hoodie. He smiled, ready to see Asher, wanting to be in his arms again, holding him and feeling loved fully. All he hoped was that he didn’t move on. He hoped that Asher was still single and still open for him. 

JR kept his optimism his whole way to his seat, row 24 seat a...the window seat. He groaned, his optimism waving and sat down. He pulled out his phone, looking down at his arm. The scar was still there… 

_ No,  _ he thought to himself.  _ I can’t go back there. _ But since he was there, his mind began to wander as he fainted, his head and ears falling on the window. 

\----

“WHY ARE YOU STILL TALKING TO HIM!” the father yelled. He was a tall and built brown wolf, his tail was flayed out in aggravation. “IT’S A FAKE RELATIONSHIP”

JR just looked at him, stone face, wanting to defend himself but he didn’t want to dig a deeper hole. 

“Why,” the mother said in a soft voice. “Why do you keep breaking our trust.” She was on the brink of tears. 

JR didn’t respond, he only looked stone faced at the two accusing him. 

“Please, Joseph,” she said again. “Tell us why.”

The wolf did the worst thing he could ever do: he smiled. 

The father snarled and clenched his fist. “You know he will just break your heart, right? He will just fuck you up beyond your whims. Beside you don’t even know him!”

JR’s smiled faded quickly and was replaced by a look of hatred. “I trust him, and if you just looked at it from my view you would-”

“I DID! AND I STILL DON’T UNDERSTAND IT!!!” the father yelled. “You know what, I’m done. You aren’t seeing him again.”

“DAD!” JR yelled back, but it was too late. The father walked off and slammed the door behind him as he entered his room. 

The mother walked up and took his hand, “Just talk to me Joseph.” 

JR shook her hand off him and went into the kitchen and grabbed a knife, turning around with it. He had tears falling from his eyes, finally broken. 

“Joseph…” she said, slowly approaching her son. 

JR’s eyes were red with tears as he dropped the knife, realizing how close he was to take his own life. 

The mother called for the father and sat by her son. They traveled to the hospital. After being evaluated, JR was sent to an impatient center where he fell asleep. 

\----

JR woke up in the present day, seeing a female fox above him. “Could I get anything to eat or drink?” She asked.

JR shook his head and asked for a sprite and some pretzels.  _ Why?  _ he thought, taking the items.  _ Why do I think about that now? _ As he ate crackers, his mind wandered again, slowly allowing himself to travel around and allowing himself to faint. 

\---

“Yeah I’m just so fucked up right now,” a koala said quickly. She had red hair and a crazed look in her eyes. “I’ve done a lot of weird shit and drugs in my life.” 

The group laughed and JR felt at home there. He looked around at the other people there; a female hippo wearing the pink shirt, a female fox with a reddish coat and a brown sweatshirt, a male sloth wearing a hoodie, and a male fox, Eric, the one that JR slowly gained feelings for. 

“Guys, I’m being serious,” the koala said.

“Oh we know,” the hippo smiled. “What’s on the agenda for today?”

“We’ve got art therapy at two,” the fox said, “and dammit, I’m going to miss it.” 

“You’re getting out today?” JR asked smiling. 

“Yep, finally going to message my boyfriend,” Eric smiled. 

The other fox smiled, “That great! I hope you get to see him again.” 

“Yeah same,” JR smiled, being reminded of Asher. “Did I tell you, you remind me of my...ex.” 

Eric smiled, “Thanks, Jo.” 

The other fox smiled, “Glad to see you headed out. Hopefully we will all join you soon.” 

“Yeah hopefully,” JR frowned, “I’ve just got to get through the family session.”

“Ouch,” the koala groaned. 

“You’ll get through it,” Eric smiled, patting the wolf on the back. 

“No touching!” a voice called out from the hallway. A bear in a nurse’s uniform walked in, with a binder. “Ready for yoga?” 

The group groaned and slowly got up. 

JR followed the instructions to the letter and slow became relaxed, when he heard shuffling next to him. His eyes shot open and he looked at Eric who was getting up. 

JR ushered him to come to him and when he got close enough, he gave him a hug, his heart slowly breaking from the hug, as it reminded him of Asher. 

“Hopefully I get back home soon.”

“I hope so, now see ya!” JR smiled and watched as Eric left the room.

\----

JR woke up again, googling slightly. 

“Hey, you’re finally awake.” a raccoon said next to him. 

“What?” JR questioned. 

“We’ve landed sweetie,” an older fox called out to him. 

JR’s eyes widened as he got up quickly. He grabbed his backpack and sweater and teleported quickly off the plane. 

  
  


To be continued


	3. Chapter 3

_ I love him, But when the night is over _

_ He is gone, The river's just a river... _

_ Without me, His world will go on turning _

_ A world that's full of happiness, That I have never known! _

~ On My Own, Alain Albert Boublil, Claude Michel Schonberg, Herbert Kretzmer, Jean Marc Natel, Les Misérables

JR popped out of the cab, and walked into his hotel, a cheap yet nice Holiday Inn. He smiled, knowing he was going to see Asher for the first time in months tomorrow. He heffed his backpack over his shoulder and walked into the lobby. 

“Hello, could I just get a room for today and tomorrow?” He asked the receptionist. 

The receptionist, a spotted hyena, smiled and handed him his room key. 

JR took it and went to his room, room 614. He opened it and plopped down on his bed, quickly being overtaken by his visions and past. 

\----

JR laid in his bed, on his phone talking to Samuel via text. Frank is a fox who lives near him. Someone that maybe he could be with. JR had to keep his options open because he promised Asher that he’d try to move on. Something, ever since Eric, he failed at. 

_ So what will you do tonight?  _ JR typed, trying to keep conversation going. 

_ Knowing my parents, I’ll lose my phone at nine and then I’ll go to bed.  _ He responded. 

JR sighed and typed,  _ Well maybe we could talk more tomorrow.  _

_ Yeah,  _ he responded.  _ Damn I can’t wait to get out of this place. Finally I’ll be able to just lay with someone.  _

JR smiled and typed,  _ Yep, just until then, we’ve just got to have patience.  _

_ Yeah I know, but we still have Grindr and bathrooms now so…. _ He typed. 

JR’s expression hardened, the helpful friend coming out.  _ Might want to have some patience there, just wait until college.  _

_ But I just want some now… _ He said with a smirk emoji. 

JR groaned and rolled his eyes,  _ Ouch, sorry man. I’ve got to head to bed, nighty.  _

_ Have a good night,  _ Samuel responded with a wink emoji. 

JR turned off his phone and muttered, “Well don’t think that’s going to happen.” He rolled over in his bed and slowly, allowed sleep to take over him. 

\----

JR woke up with a start as his alarm when off. “What?” He groaned, not realizing he made an alarm. He picked up his phone and groaned, looking at the time, 9:30. 

_ Fuck I missed breakfast _ , he groaned, slowly getting up. He pulled out some clothes, another pair of jeans, a black t-shirt and a red sweater, and took off his other clothes, grumbling to himself. 

He went into the bathroom and took a quick shower and then put on the clothes he set up for himself, and walked out of his apartment. He walked outside and moved down the street, thinking about Asher, and when he’ll see him again. 

_ I hope he’s happy and ok,  _ JR smiled. 

Thirty minutes later, JR walked up to Asher’s apartment, and his heart was racing in worry.  _ What if he moved on?  _ He wondered, his hands starting to shake in fear. He began to raise his knuckle to the door but pulled it back, his heart beating even faster.  _ He had to have moved on, it's been how long? _ He said to himself.  _ But, what if he hasn’t...What if...he was waiting for me to come back? _

With that in his mind, he knocked on the door and waited, for Asher to open it. After a few seconds of no answer he knocked again. His heart began to race, hoping this goes well and not bad.  _ Fuck, fuck I shouldn’t be here,  _ JR thought and began to walk away. However, he was stopped by a voice, the voice of Asher saying, “Jo?”

JR turned around, tears forming in his eyes as he ran up to give Asher a hug. However, he tackled Asher to the ground instead of a hug. 

Asher smiled weakly and gave JR a hug back, gentle yet resistant. 

Slowly, JR realized they both were on the ground and slowly got up. He held out a hand to Asher to give him some help. “Hey Ash,” he smiled. 

Asher smiled and gave the wolf a proper hug, keeping them up and showing JR some love. “What are you doing back?” He asked. 

“It wasn’t going to be so long, but I’m back earlier than I thought.” JR smiled, reaching up a hand to cup the side of Asher’s face. 

Asher stepped back and said, “Come on, let’s sit, Jo.” He led the wolf to a couch and sat down with him. 

“How are you doing Ash? What have you been up to these past months?” JR asked, smiling and taking Asher’s hand. 

“I’ve…” Asher said, looking at the bedroom, “I’ve been good. Working a lot.” 

“Same, and I’ve been worrying about you,” JR said. 

“Same, worried that I caused some problems with you,” Asher responded. 

“You didn’t, Ash,” JR smiled, trying to comfort him. “I’m sorry I didn’t come to you earlier or try to contact you at all. I was...just scared.”

Asher gave him a hug, “It’s alright, Jo, I’m glad to see you alright.” 

JR smiled, “So how have you been otherwise?” 

Asher’s expression darkened and his smile faded. 

JR noticed the change in the coyote and began to worry. “Ash?” He asked. 

“I...I found someone, JR,” Asher said. 

JR looked down, avoiding his gaze. 

“When you left, I tried to stay with it, I told myself you’ll be coming back soon. But you didn’t, and I fell for someone else. I moved on.” 

JR’s heart broke, he thought he had found the one, but his one just moved one. His heartbeats started to feel off, and broken. His hand began to shake and he took a deep breath in. 

“Jo?” Asher asked. 

“Are you happy?” JR asked, trying to remain calm as possible.  _ Thank you theatre, _ he thought to himself. 

“Yes,” Asher responded. 

“Then I’m happy. As long as you are happy, I am.” He lied, but wanted Asher to be happy. Even if that means he’d never be happy. 

Asher hugged the wolf and JR hugged back. “Thanks Jo. You’re my best friend, please know that.” 

“I do,” JR smiled, getting up. 

“Where are you going?” Asher asked. 

“I’ve just...I don’t know.” JR responded and walked out. “You have my number, use it Asher.” 

Asher smiled and said, “I will.” 

JR closed the door behind him and walked out of the apartment, into the alleyway and pooped on the ground and began to sobb. He lost the man he loved because he moved on. He lost him because of his parents. He lost him...because he didn’t have the drive to overcome his fear, to finish anything. He lost him…

To be continued

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, interpret that how you want, it's just....I hope things can work out at the end, without any lies. And to...him...please take this song. I'll add more with more chapters and kind of tell what happened these past few months.


End file.
